Life presents us with a lot of different challenges and opportunities. There is usually no rest in between these waves of change that keep rolling towards the shore that is our present moment. Especially nowadays – and this won’t be news for you – the waves keep coming faster and faster and it’s really hard not to get drowned. We keep coming up for air. Sometimes it feels like this is all we are actually doing. The shore itself – which could be the silent center of our being – seems to disappear in our struggle to keep our heads above the water.

At least that’s what life feels like a lot to me right now.

Surfing the Waves of Change

There is this great metapher I use myself about surfing the waves of change. The ideal is to not be drowned by the waves, but make use of them to propel us forward.

This is a lot to ask!

In order to become successful surfers we first have to learn how to swim. Then we need to find a bay where the waves come to use in a pattern and rhythm that we can actually master. There is no use to expect of us to surf with the champions or be able to surf each and every wave that comes our way. Some places are not right for us at this moment. Some waves are just too big. No need to self-sabotage by trying to master a wave that we are just not equipped to handle.

Sometimes it is right and correct to take a risk and to dare to dream big. In fact, I wish for all of us to dream bigger! We are all more brilliant and capable than we dare to imagine at times. At the same time we need to be smart about it.

If you desire to ride the big waves then you need to build your strength and your skill by starting with the smaller waves. You can probably still explore the waters of the bay you want to surf in, but start with the small waves. Start with the waves that are closer to where you actually are right now and probably also closer to the shore. You can always go deeper into the water at a later point in time – but you need to build your strength and skills first. You might also need to find a good surfing teacher AND an expert of this very specific bay you are trying to master. Don’t expect yourself to be a master from the get go. Learn from the masters and the other surfers in that area FIRST. This is the safest and the most certain way to become a master yourself.

All of that said: Sometimes the weather is just not right for surfing.

Surfing (and therefore living) requires a level of flexibility. When a good wave comes your way – hit it! Don’t expect that kind of wave to come to you every time and every day, though. This is not how nature works. This is not how life nor the universe works. Accepting not every wave is yours to surf (yet?) and that not every day is or needs to be like surfing the perfect wave is essential.

There is also wisdom in making the most of your time between waves or when the weather is just not right for surfing anyway. You can still work out on the beach. Or rest. Or play. Or hike through the forest. Build your strength and renew your energy. Don’t exhaust yourself before the actual wave comes or you will simply not be able to ride it.

Obviously when you are sick there is no point in forcing yourself to swim out into those waves to begin with. Recover first. Get rest and help as needed.

Looking over the calm ocean sea

Embracing the Process

All of this takes practice (not perfection!) and I’m right here practicing with you. I’m meditating to better access the shore by increasing my capacity to be present to the here and now. I’m journaling, channeling and asking friends to help me figure out what bay might be mine to conquer next. Which are the areas where I will (and already do) excel. All of this combined with doing the actual research, diving into the materials of experts AND still doing my best at both of my jobs.

All of which is a lot! Which is also why I have been silent here for quite a while. I’m still available to take on some new clients in between, but most of the time my time and energy resources are just already spent and scheduled.

I will make an effort to share my occasional updates here and hope to be able to produce the occasional video for my youtube channel as well – but this will not just depend on my willingness and energy, but also on the windy weather and sometimes very unpredictable waves of the bays I am already having obligations to.

I’m happy to support you if you need help figuring out the whole surfing process with my skills. And I hope that you already found some helpful thoughts and advice in these words.

If you feel like you are drowing: Ask for help. Remember the waves you already mastered. Ask for help.

Build your strength. Train and increase your skills. Identify and get the training and advise you need.

Then hit those waves and make the most of it!

The sun is rising over the ocean waves promising hope at the end of the tunnel

After last week was spend with a lot of clients struggling with very similar challenges I felt inspired to make this new video. It’s about how to open up more fully to the sensuality of life and about allowing life to seduce you. Awakening sensuality is not only about healthy embodiment and great sex, but about creating a life that is in alignment with your actual Self, purpose and desires.

Enjoy the video here or watch it on youtube and let me know what you think!

Like my videos? Be sure to subscribe to my youtube channel and share them with your friends.

In light of recent events in Orlando I wasn’t sure what to write in today’s blog. I wanted to write something inspiring which gives you a better picture of who I am and what I am about. At the same time I wanted to write something respectful that doesn’t pretend like there isn’t still a lot of pain and suffering in our LGBTQ family going on in the wake of the shooting. I certainly am not ‘over it’ and I don’t expect others to be ‘over it’ either. In my mind that would be cruel and uncalled for – and I experienced enough of that during the last week myself when I dared to express my sadness and my anger.

I’m not much into pretense. I don’t see a point in calling for positive focus while my leg is bleeding. I don’t want us to ignore our emotions or suppress them. Quite on the contrary.

heart-energy-767928_1280It is my firm believe that everything about the human being is true, correct and beautiful. This includes all of our emotions, our wounds, our minds and our souls. It’s when we start denying and disowning parts of ourselves that we actually get into trouble. Evil enters into the chasm of separation – inside and outside of us. Which is why I’m spending so much time teaching about how to become whole again and how to learn to live with true compassion. It’s because love truly is the glue of the universe. It’s the only thing actually able to overcome hate, violence and the evils of this world. You essentially can’t shoot or consciously hurt someone who you consider to be part of yourself. The same goes for a tree, the ocean and all life on earth. If we truly start to get that all the separation we see is just created in our minds by an insecure and dominant Ego that wants to run the show, we can start not only to heal ourselves, but all the worlds. We can even begin to love our Ego back into wholeness. Like the rest of our parts it serves a valuable purpose if aligned with the rest of our being.

At the same time we shouldn’t pretend either that a gunshot wound can heal just fine as long as the bullet is still inside. Likewise we have to suck the poison out of our wounds sometimes before the real healing can begin. Love is the ultimate cure. And sometimes we need to create a space for love first by removing the poison. That’s the alchemy of transforming lead into gold. Inside of us that’s sometimes called shadow integration. Outside of us it can mean everything from compassionate listening and political activism to the complete arsenal of self-defense. Given the circumstance different tools serve best.

flower growing from a crack in dry earthWhile sitting at the local river today I was reminded of another truth, too. Between all the trash that had been washed on the shore there were still beautiful wild flowers and proud plants with their branches held high. The trash is a concern to the Fey, the nature spirits watching that place. At the same time, though, they remember, too, that nothing that’s true can ever die. Life is unbeatable.

In our Western society it’s easy to get lost in the thought that death is final and a threat to life. That given the state of our world everything is going to end up in some horrible kind of apocalypse and that’s that. Given all the stories that we have been told for the last couple of hundred years it makes perfect sense to feel that way.

At the same time I think we should start to understand that all of these stories and thoughts were born from place of separation themselves. That there is another truth which is revealed in connection.

When we take a look at nature and let go of our cultural conditioning we will see that nothing truly ends there. Everything lasts forever. Matter and energy can’t really be destroyed. They can only be transformed into something else. That’s all what death and decay really do. They are the flipside of birth and growth.

Another thing we can observe is that nature fills the void. Nature itself doesn’t really accept separation. Cross-pollination is more like it. Turning an empty lot first into a meadow and then into a forest is more like it. The more diverse an ecosystem ends up to be, the stronger and more resilient it gets. That’s why nature always advocates diversity.

Likewise the powers of life Themselves will always be on the side of interconnectedness, interdependency and creative self-expression. They will always work towards closing the gaps. They will always be on the side of love in diversity.

It is a tragedy that 49 of our sisters, brothers and siblings lost their life as the result of (self-)hate. They became dispensable to the attacker because in his mind what they represented was evil. Something that he needed to see as something separate from himself and therefore dispensable. Evil flourished in his attempt to widen the chasm of separation he was told and believed was necessary.

In a way that’s all homophobia, sexism, heteronormativity, transphobia, xenophobia etc. are about: The idea that separation is necessary. The idea that what is different from us needs to be worse than us and therefore can’t be a part of us, because we need to be ‘good’.

From a spiritual perspective nothing can be further from the truth, because we contain everything. We contain the same-sex attraction. We contain the desire for genderqueer expression. We contain the homophobia and xenophobia, too.

So my advise would be to take a really deep look at ourselves and face the ways in which we still define ourselves as better or fundamentally different from “those people”. We have to face the reality of who we are. Only then can we begin to heal the wounds. Only then can we really begin to integrate our shadows and love our wholeness into being.

man looking down from a mountain