Life presents us with a lot of different challenges and opportunities. There is usually no rest in between these waves of change that keep rolling towards the shore that is our present moment. Especially nowadays – and this won’t be news for you – the waves keep coming faster and faster and it’s really hard not to get drowned. We keep coming up for air. Sometimes it feels like this is all we are actually doing. The shore itself – which could be the silent center of our being – seems to disappear in our struggle to keep our heads above the water.
At least that’s what life feels like a lot to me right now.
Surfing the Waves of Change
There is this great metapher I use myself about surfing the waves of change. The ideal is to not be drowned by the waves, but make use of them to propel us forward.
This is a lot to ask!
(Image credit: Surf Gear Ltd &White Water Mag Ltd)
In order to become successful surfers we first have to learn how to swim. Then we need to find a bay where the waves come to use in a pattern and rhythm that we can actually master. There is no use to expect of us to surf with the champions or be able to surf each and every wave that comes our way. Some places are not right for us at this moment. Some waves are just too big. No need to self-sabotage by trying to master a wave that we are just not equipped to handle.
Sometimes it is right and correct to take a risk and to dare to dream big. In fact, I wish for all of us to dream bigger! We are all more brilliant and capable than we dare to imagine at times. At the same time we need to be smart about it.
If you desire to ride the big waves then you need to build your strength and your skill by starting with the smaller waves. You can probably still explore the waters of the bay you want to surf in, but start with the small waves. Start with the waves that are closer to where you actually are right now and probably also closer to the shore. You can always go deeper into the water at a later point in time – but you need to build your strength and skills first. You might also need to find a good surfing teacher AND an expert of this very specific bay you are trying to master. Don’t expect yourself to be a master from the get go. Learn from the masters and the other surfers in that area FIRST. This is the safest and the most certain way to become a master yourself.
All of that said: Sometimes the weather is just not right for surfing.
Surfing (and therefore living) requires a level of flexibility. When a good wave comes your way – hit it! Don’t expect that kind of wave to come to you every time and every day, though. This is not how nature works. This is not how life nor the universe works. Accepting not every wave is yours to surf (yet?) and that not every day is or needs to be like surfing the perfect wave is essential.
There is also wisdom in making the most of your time between waves or when the weather is just not right for surfing anyway. You can still work out on the beach. Or rest. Or play. Or hike through the forest. Build your strength and renew your energy. Don’t exhaust yourself before the actual wave comes or you will simply not be able to ride it.
Obviously when you are sick there is no point in forcing yourself to swim out into those waves to begin with. Recover first. Get rest and help as needed.
Embracing the Process
All of this takes practice (not perfection!) and I’m right here practicing with you. I’m meditating to better access the shore by increasing my capacity to be present to the here and now. I’m journaling, channeling and asking friends to help me figure out what bay might be mine to conquer next. Which are the areas where I will (and already do) excel. All of this combined with doing the actual research, diving into the materials of experts AND still doing my best at both of my jobs.
All of which is a lot! Which is also why I have been silent here for quite a while. I’m still available to take on some new clients in between, but most of the time my time and energy resources are just already spent and scheduled.
I will make an effort to share my occasional updates here and hope to be able to produce the occasional video for my youtube channel as well – but this will not just depend on my willingness and energy, but also on the windy weather and sometimes very unpredictable waves of the bays I am already having obligations to.
I’m happy to support you if you need help figuring out the whole surfing process with my skills. And I hope that you already found some helpful thoughts and advice in these words.
If you feel like you are drowing: Ask for help. Remember the waves you already mastered. Ask for help.
Build your strength. Train and increase your skills. Identify and get the training and advise you need.
Then hit those waves and make the most of it!
I have always felt a very intimate connection with plants and the spirits of nature. I spent a lot of my childhood and teenage years in the garden and the forest. I talked to trees and faeries.
The kind of spirituality that had always spoken to me and was instrumental in my emotional healing process and self-empowerment was Witchcraft. 
Most of our spiritual beliefs and practices in the West – especially within the New Age community – have been conceived outside of a natural environment or have been adopted (and modified) from more ‘exotic’, Eastern cultures which themselves were and/or are divorced from nature.
I quickly ended up explaining, like I usually do, that, yes, I do see a value in light and its positive attributes, but that there are also a lot of nourishing and positive aspects of darkness. That there is an inherent danger in identifying too strongly with the light if that means rejecting and even demonizing darkness.
As a result I tried suppressing my abilities as a child and stopped communicating about the magical worlds and beings that I continued to perceive. I was alone with the faeries and ghosts I saw. Isolated when I talked to the trees. Craving for people who might one day be able to accept me as well as the song of creation I heard in my mind.
Am I a lightworker?
One of the tools which I have found to be highly efficient in certain circumstances is the tool of positive focus. Essentially this tool is all about choosing where you focus your attention most of the time and directing your attention towards the ‘positive’/desired. This doesn’t mean that we should neglect or ignore the ‘negative’ (more on that in a second). It means accepting, though (or at least pretending at first), that not everything is in fact negative. There are not just bad and dying people out there. There is hope. There are beautiful activists. There are amazing landscapes. There is beauty all around us. Permaculture gardens, rewilding approaches and intentional living communities are spreading. Wolves are returning to landscapes who haven’t seen them in decades and longer. There are several examples. Desired change is in fact already happening. The transformation of society which we seek is on it’s way. The media aren’t always telling us so since ‘news’ are usually centered around the negative. It’s a conscious choice for them to tell just this side of the story. We are free to make a different choice. Acknowledging and spreading information about beautiful and inspiring people, places and initiatives is actually helping them. It’s more than just focusing selectively. It’s actually helping to build a better world in tangible as well as intangible ways. Starting with the fact that giving yourself and others hope reduces stress levels and allows us to act more compassionately and loving with each other and ourselves. Just one of several positive side effects we might not think of at first but which are at play regardless. Something worth considering, right?
If everything else fails it helps me to remember how far we have already come in such a short time. Look back at the beginnings of social justice movements, feminism or the environmental movement. Look at what they protested against in the beginning and what has already changed since then. For example a couple of decades ago the term ‘animal rights’ wouldn’t have made any sense to the ‘ordinary person’ on the street. The idea of opening marriage to same-sex couples seemed far fetched at best and completely unrealistic at worst. Look at how far we have come! This doesn’t mean that there are no longer things to work on and improve, but it means that our fighting is worth it. It means that tangible change is actually possible.